Interview with Ann Mehl, Life Coach

Ann Mehl has been my coach for the last year and three months.  She couldn't have come at a better time.  There's been a lot of uncertainty in the air.  Just judging by the popularity books on the topic of finding a happy balance in your life (Finding Your North Star, The Element, Escape from the Cubicle, Career Renegade ..  the list goes on) a lot of people are looking for advice.

Read my interview with Ann about coaching, her perspective on finding that harmony in your life.

The Creative Block

I took a "break" from jewelry after the holidays.  Mostly, I wanted to use the time to regroup and see what new ideas I could foster.  In that time I did make a few things - some fun earrings, a couple of necklaces - but they were mostly for my own wear and an excuse to experiment with new materials and styles.  I had set a time-line on when I was going to "get back to work" and was charged to get back into the routine.

I had organized my materials - believe me, with the amount of materials I have this is necessary - things are organized according to type and stored in a way that actually makes sense (previously, they were stored however best they fit).  I sat down to make something new and exciting and .... nothing came.  Nothing.  It's part of the process to make something and then realise it didn't really work the way you thought it would; it's frustrating but I'm fine with it.  This time, nothing came.  I wasn't putting anything together.  I had NO ideas.  I consulted a couple of jewelry sites and beading magazines for inspiration.  Nothing again.  I went to bead stores and checked out some fashion magazines hoping that would help. Nope.  

And then I panicked.  I have timelines I'm working with.  I have ideas for lines (themes, types, etc) that I'm anxious to experiment with, but there's nothing coming out.  What happens if this doesn't go away?  Am I done with making jewelry?  After 20 years, is this it?

So I did the only thing I could.  I stepped away.   I started a new needlepoint, I thought about the clothing I want to make (I'm always full of ideas of things to make).  I watched a couple of movies (Bollywood is generally the most visually stimulating genre) and listened to some music. Though not in my head the most productive use of time at least by stepping away I wasn't beating myself up.

Then I spoke with Ann.  She always has useful advice in these situations.  She told me about a call she just had with Martha Beck.  During the call, Martha identified four different stages of starting a business.  The third stage, she said, is always the hardest, always the point where people are ready to give up.  The first stage is where the idea begins, the second part is the initial execution.  And apparently the third stage is to be confused, jaded and slightly frustrated (my words, not hers).  Oddly, that made me feel better; it's always nice to know you're not alone.  What Martha recommends at stage three is to go right back to stage one, as unproductive as it sounds.

So I stayed there for a bit.  I thought about how I would like to make clothing, wanted to sketch again, try some new knitting designs. I made many, many beaded daisy-chains (I have an idea for these, it's in the works) and continued on the needlepoint.  All zero-productivity actions in my mind.

It worked.  It may be the simple idea that I know I can step away if I'm frustrated.  It may be that I was over-thinking.  But a little patience with myself and I'm back on track.

Another Divine Intervention

Momentarily deflated, I can always go back to creating.  I find it relaxing, almost mediative, it's what I love and want to do with my life.  I'm not completely discouraged, just need to plan.   I reached out to a few people and put some perspective on the moment.  

Ann writes telling me about a workshop I should attend with her.  It's being held at In Good Company, an organization for women entrpeneurs.  In Good Company offers workspace, workshops, networking and an array of services for its members.  It's a wonderful community.  The workshop was 15 Second Pitch with Laura Allen.

It ended up being another fortiutous meeting.

I find being in a room of strangers intimidating.  I was walking into a room full of women who had their own businesses, surely I would stick out as someone who clearly had no idea what she was doing.  But I was at a complete standstill and needed to take all the opportunities I could.

The women I met were amazing.  It was a group of excited, funny and intellegent women.  From all backgrounds and interests, they had two things in common

1. they owned their own businesses
2. they were looking to learn.

Laura Allen is a vivacious engaging speaker.  She spoke about the questions, fears and issues that people and particularly women experience starting their own business.  I wasn't alone.  She had real examples of success stories, some of these people were in the room.  She countered any reason to hold back with legitimate reasons to progress.  Her workshop, as you can guess, is about creating your pitch: explaining what you do, what makes you unique and ends with a call to action, all within 15 seconds.  Listening to her, I knew I could do it.  I just needed to define exactly what "it" was.

By the time I went home, I decided to work with her.  Sometimes you need to spend money in order to make money.  And the energy and knowledge she possesses was exactly what I needed.  It felt freeing to know I would have help.  I sent her links to my work and planned to start with her right after a trip to Seattle.

Finding More Support

As I've said before, through all of this my career/life coach Ann has been an amazing support.  She helps me find the courage in myself and also reminds me to be kind to myself when things haven't moved as fast as I thought they would.

She suggested two books, which provided more insight from people who have changes in their lives:

• Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers - this book opened my eyes to the idea that I'm the only person holding myself back.  With affirmations and provides steps for action.  She points out that fear is really only a mind-over-matter situation.  Further, after reading this I became aware that the accomplishments inspiring the most pride are the ones that required the greatest leap.

• Girl's Guide to Stating Your Own Business by Caitlin Friedman & Kimberly Yorio - This book offers "candid advice, frank talk and true stories for the successful entrepreneur." The authors talk about what it took for them to start their own business, the lessons the learned, the resources they found lacking and put in real terms what it means to start your own business.  It took what was for me an extremely abstract idea and posed questions that I needed to get started. 

At the same time I was gathering information (at this point, I felt like a very enthusiastic sponge) our friend Candy Simmons was holding a workshop for her new one-woman play, AfterLife.  A talented actress, she co-wrote and founded a production company, Sunset Gun Productions, for this a one-woman play. It had been accepted as part of a fringe festival and the workshop was for feedback and to raise funds for her trip. My husband and I attended one of the performances that ended with Q&A.  It was amazing.  She commanded such attention and was so obviously in her perfect element. 

There's no better encouragement than seeing someone do what they love.  People who are passionate about their dreams talk with such confidence, enthusiasm and are so knowlegeable about their enterprises.  Now that I was getting my own business started I found that I not only found other people do the same, but attracted them.  It's all about positive energy.